You smell like a Billy Joel song
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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