Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
