i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
