you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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