Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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