Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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