I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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