Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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