Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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