Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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