I love black thongs
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
