Jerry, you need to find god
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
