he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
