We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
