will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
