he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
