i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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