the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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