in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
