Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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