eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
