you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
