When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
