she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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