I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
