My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
