there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It's never too late to be topless.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
