your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We smell like vodka and hangover
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