My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
