I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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