nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
