is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
