I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Mom said you looked used
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
