wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She's the barista slut.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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