its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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