WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
