Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
