Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
