It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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