she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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