I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
