No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
