I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
