I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
did i walk over a car last night?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
