I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
