you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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