I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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