Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
