I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
