Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
